WHAT IS YOUR ADOPTION EXPERIENCE?
I am a wife, mum, and gran
aged 65 who was adopted as a baby in 1948. In those years adoptees did not have
much information. I had spent a very
short time in a Dr Barnados home (orphanage) about which I can’t remember
much. My adoption was entirely
successful and I cannot remember when I was told I was adopted.
Margaret “as a youngster, I still have
the teddy bear!!!”
As I grew older, married
and had a family of my own, feelings emerged about where I had come from, why my
own children had certain characteristics. Eventually I decided to try and trace
my birth mother. This was not easy, took eleven years. By the time I had
located the family (with a third party contact) my birth mother had died. I
found I had seven brothers and two sisters, who I have been in contact with for
the past twenty one years. We are so alike!!! My adoptive parents had died
before I did my search—I was not looking for replacement parents but had a
great yearning to find 'my place'.
***
HOW HAS THE ADOPTION EXPERIENCE AFFECTED YOUR POETRY?
Much of my poetry
reflects the yearning to belong, to find my place and to challenge others'
opinions of adoption who have no first hand experience. Below are samples of my
poetry, it was difficult to choose one, there are so many!!!
***
PLEASE
SHARE A SAMPLE POEM(S) ADDRESSING (INPART) ADOPTION:
BEHIND CLOSED DOORS
My tribe is the 'handed over'
not for us the rituals
of a joyous mother at childbirth
she is to spend her life
forever looking back.
THE RIGHT
My
arrival was secret
people
took decisions, made plans
legal
matters were attended to
but
who asked me.
I
cost four shillings
paid
at the court hearing
when
I married the license
was
seven shillings and sixpence!
Am
I commodity rising in value?
or
will society pay more
these
days for a soul who arrived
in
confusion.
Reading
this you might think
what
a bitter, cynical soul
we
have here
you
would be sadly mistaken.
For
all those rules and regulations
worked
to some extent,
I
belong to a wonderful family
and
have no regrets.
But
there was a perpetual longing,
what
about my genes
why
am I like I am
I
have a right to know.
Do
you look like anybody?
are
you sick of being told you closely
resemble
Great Aunt Ethel,
value
it.
Are
you prepared that you might
inherit
your grandmother’s medical condition
well
my friend be grateful
for
the knowledge.
What
about all those stories passed on
from
generation to generation
gold,
pure gold, do not discard them
that
is not your right.
1st February 2010
***
ABOUT THE POET:
Margaret Carruthers: “I have
been writing poetry for nearly 15 years now, it is influenced by nature, my
faith, social justice and last but not least my experience as an adopted
person. I live in south west Scotland and am at present working on a collection
of poems related to my experience as an adopted person. Several of my poems
have been published here in the UK.”
